I disagree with virtually every sales book I’ve ever read. When you boil it down, they all basically offer strategies about how to manipulate people into giving you money. I hate that. I actually had an epiphany about it quite a number of years ago. I came face to face with myself, looking in a mirror, and decided that if I can’t be any different with the business people I meet than I am with my next door neighbor, then I’m a phony.

So I decided to change. It was hard, but ultimately one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Building business relationships is really no different than building non-business relationships. You need to be transparent. You don’t need to talk about business all the time, or even any of the time. You need to say what’s on your mind. You should do no planning – zero planning – in a relationship based meeting (which is much different than a formal business presentation, of course). You never look at the person as being a standing-up greenback. You help in any way you can personally, without asking for money. You listen just as much as you talk. If no money comes, nothing changes. That’s because you never expect money in the relationship.

The result: Authentic relationships that stand the test of time – relationships that are not based on the usual unspoken quid pro quo in business: “I’ll be your friend and ally if you give me money.”

Then, of course, when there’s really a legitimate need, your authentic friends will turn to those they trust. But trust is always proven by actions, and should never be talked about. The moment you say, “Trust me”, you beg the question.